January 24, 2009

Oh Boy...or ummmmm Girl

Ash did it to me again. I swear to all things holy that my daughter is a magnet for drama. Somehow when it comes to her friends, *I* always end up the June Cleaver mom for the group. This is NOT a good thing.

It's not that I mind being the voice of reason or helping another child if needed. That's fine! The problem is that in the long run it doesn't really matter what I say or do. Said kid is usually messed up for a reason and so far all the cases I've seen point right to the parents. This latest issue being a prime example.

Last night, Ash's new friend asked if she could borrow my cell to call her Mom. I said sure and the next thing I know I see her going by me crying and Ashley has that outraged look that only a teen can make. Ash handed me the phone and headset and explained to me what happened.

Apparently the mother called the girls cell phone and was all sweet asking the daughter to call back. The daughter didn't have enough minutes on her phone to call Mom back so that's why she borrowed mine. As soon as she called back the Mother started screaming at her calling her a "white trash bitch" and "a rebellious whore". After that, the grandmother got into the action by telling the girl that if she blew her own brains out that'd be just fine with her and alot less trouble. Nice huh? Not a thing dysfunctional or screwed up about that.

I explained to Ashley that she was talking to the wrong person and sent her to console her friend outside. I sat here for a bit working and then went and told them I was going to bed and they needed to come in. I no sooner got in bed than here they come. The girl wanted to "talk" and Ashley thought I could help her somewhow.

Sure I'd LOVE to help the child, but I CAN'T! Not just that, but I have a feeling that there's a whole lot to this story that I don't know since the girl mentioned she was sent to Military school AND she's on probation. She's also 20 and is considered a freshman in high school. Her Dad is either in Jail or prison, i'm not clear on that and her former boyfriend beat her. The Mom has some sort of disease that causes strokes and other issues as well obviously. See the issue here? It's not a problem, it's a clusterf*ck.

I feel sooooooooooo sorry for the girl. I really do. From what i heard she's had a rough go of it and some of it she's done to herself. I basically told her that she can choose to be a victim or she can rise above it all by being someone she can be proud to see in the mirror. That and that she's not responsible for making her mother happy or anyone else for that matter. She's responsible for no one but herself. Then i told them to go to bed since we had to be up early so i could drop them off at school early today for a school ROTC competition.

I found out this morning that the girl has a date for the Military Ball but her mom refuses to help her with a dress so i'm going to work on that today. Ashley has a gorgeous dress that we could have altered down for her but i'm going to check Freecycle too and see if anyone would like to donate a dress. The way I see it at this point is that 20 or not, she could use some kindness and while I can't solve her troubles, I CAN at least try to give her a smile that might make a difference in her life. I just pray i'm not opening myself up for more drama. That would NOT be good at all.

Nessa


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