July 21, 2009
The Queen's Meme, My First Installment
1. You are a guest on the space shuttle. You just arrived on the moon and realize you forgot something back home that you can't live without. What is it and how do you convince them to go back and fetch it?
Well, the only thing I can't live without since i'm assuming I'll be coming back and seeing The Bratz again would be my Motley Crue CD's. I'm thinking the astronauts would be not so thrilled to come back and get em for me so I'd probably just have to go all PMS on their candy asses til they agree. I'm thinking it should take all of about 2.7 seconds to convince them.
2. Pretend you are a teacher in a rough public school for one day. You have been assigned to teach Manners 101. You have the "challenging bad butt kids" class (remember this is a pretend school and anyway I can't say ass on my blog 'cause it's so unQueenly and I might get fined or something).
They are jumping up and down, cursing, and throwing things at you.
What is the first thing you would write on the board?
"My name is Miss Vanessa, I can kill you 101 ways with a paperclip, Who wants to go first?"
3. Someone in your family or a friend has started a blog. They think it is anonymous but you have figured it out. They are saying derogatory things about you. Do you tell them or do you read it for awhile? How would you handle it?
Supposedly there's a blog out there about me somewhere written by a complete psycho bitch, I'd handle it the same way I do that one. Ignore it. If they aren't brave enough to say it to me, what do I care? I can't stand cowards and whiners.
4. If you had one dollar left in your pocket, what would you spend it on?
Probably a few Laffy Taffy's, the banana flavored ones
5. President Obama and the First Lady are coming over for dinner. What do you serve?
Ummmmmmmmmm, Margarita's. He's too tense lately.
6. You walk in on your lover. They are trying on your clothes. What do you do?
Well First I scream........loud. Then I throw something at him for stretching the crotch out.
7. Every astronaut must have shots! Choose your vaccination: You only get one and you can't enjoy any of the attributes of the other choices. You choose either: (1) The fountain of eternal youth and sexual vigor but only for 10 years (2) perfect health for a lifetime (3) eternal mind-numbing nirvana and peace of mind (4) unlimited hedonism for one year with no negative consequences.
I was sort of celibate for almost 8 years. Once or twice a year doesn't count as a sex life dammit. I will knock the doctors out and take 2, the eternal youth and sexual vigor for 10 years and the unlimited hedonism too. I deserve it!