May 30, 2010


Yeah i know it's been awhile since I've posted. Things are going on here that I just refuse to put online. Not because I have anything to hide but because it's not my story to tell. God will help us through it and things will be fine and I need to get back to being me. I refuse to allow these issues to define me or affect me in ways that they shouldn't. Basically, I've not been letting go and letting God take care of things. I am now though. Someone wonderful gave me this bible verse and it's perfect for this situation.
"Proverbs 11:3 - "Honesty guides good people; dishonesty destroys treacherous people."

Like I said I won't go into what's going on because it affects 2 people I care about and I don't feel it's my place to put their business in public. I know in the end that one will be vindicated and the other will get the help needed. That's all that matters.

So now that that's out of the way, lets get to the title of this post. I feel that "responsibility" has become something that no one wants to take anymore. I don't understand that. I don't feel that mistakes made in the past define who you are. I think that learning from them though makes you a BETTER person in the end if you can honestly look at your life and see them as mistakes and move on. I also believe that if you let your own mistakes or the mistakes of others define your entire life, then you can't move on and you can never truly be happy.

I understand that some people have done things they feel guilty for but if God forgives you then you can forgive yourself. I think you HAVE to! Same goes for others who wrong you. You have to forgive in order to be forgiven. I realize that there are terrible people out there who will destroy others at a whim whether it be for attention or because they can't help themselves, etc, but allowing those people to define you as a victim, no matter what they did is no way to live. I believe we have to take responsibility for our lives and that means dealing with issues and living life in a manner pleasing to God.

I do not believe that we can please God if we keep screwing things up and then blame others for what we do. It makes no sense if you think about it. I don't think God likes hearing "I'm sorry I did that today God but it's so and so's fault". Doesn't that just tell God that you really aren't sorry for it because you take no real responsibility? Maybe I'm wrong, who knows. I personally feel that there are a lot of things I need to make up for from the past and they are MY issues because I can't fix anyone else who may have been involved. I can apologize to persons if I did them wrong, but I can't fix what I may have done anymore than they can fix me for what they did to me. What's done is done. It's their choice, my choice, to just go on with life or live it based on those things. I choose to live and learn.

I think my choice makes me a stronger, more grounded person because I can honestly look at my life and see the mistakes for what they are and I don't feel angry or hurt. If I did something wrong I feel sad and sympathetic to those I may have hurt. I don't dwell on it though. I don't hit people because I was hit. I don't lie to people because I was lied to. I don't cheat on someone because I was cheated on. If I did those things would define me as an abusive lying whore. Definitely not me lol.

I've always argued the idea that abused children become abusers BECAUSE of the abuse. I've always argued that molested children molest or become sexually promiscuous BECAUSE of the abuse. I think that they become those things because no one took the time to help them through these things or they never told anyone so that they could get help. No one taught them or had the chance to teach them to take their own responsibility for their life and to take charge of it. They can't change what happened and its not their fault it happened, but they CAN move on and treat others better than they were treated with help, love and support. I realize that sounds a bit Utopian but that's just how I see it and it's how I have raised my own kids to believe. Move past mistakes regardless of who made them and LIVE, really live life. When you can do that, I think you can achieve true happiness no matter what the past handed you or the future has in store for you.


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