November 10, 2010

An Open Letter

Most times I would prefer to keep issues private since I have some class, however, In dealing with you it is quite apparent that you are willing to twist words, lie and make up whatever you need to in order to try and get sympathy for your made up issues. Because of that, I am only going to post this one thing to you and I'm saying it where everyone can see it in order to take that ability away from you. I have nothing to hide and I am ashamed of nothing at all.

If I post a blog that you see yourself in, try to dig deep down and find just a little bit of class and stop outing yourself on your own blog lol. *IF* I had been actually talking about you, you made it clear on your own blog by rebutting it and once I was notified of such I had a very good laugh. And you call ME stupid? I forgot all about your loony blog until a family member asked why you were obviously reading mine and then responding to it on yours. Rest assured, my Meth post was a paid post and every fact I posted is available on the Internet and had nothing to do with you. If you have something to feel guilty about, that's on you not me. It's very telling that you would automatically assume it is about you though. Most innocent persons wouldn't have, but whatever.

If there is something on my blog that offends you, well gee, don't read it! I've been to your blog exactly once, I laughed my ass off and thanked God for my sanity.

I did read your stupid monologue that made very little sense about my former boyfriend. Here's what I have to say about it. You helped me prove he had a kid he was lying about. You helped me prove he was still married and not separated/divorced as I believed. I did nothing wrong except believe a liar and I have nothing to feel bad about there either. I should have been smarter, but I'm no home wrecker lol. I busted HIM remember? Unfortunately, I believed him again after that but not for long. So your cockamamie stories are just laughable especially since others were involved as well and they remember you telling distinctly different stories before. So instead of embarrassing me as was your intent, you proved you're a liar to those who already knew you helped me bust him lol. WTG! Thanks for that! I couldn't have damaged your credibility any better if I had tried! The sad thing is you aren't smart enough to get that you continuously do that and have since you were a child and it's the reason no one believes most anything you say. Just like your Mom!!!

I have not ever, nor will I ever care enough to stalk you. I don't unblock you on facebook to see what you say, I don't try to see your myspace, I haven't read your loony blog but once and I won't be back because it's boring and full of lies. It would take too much time from work and spending time with my kids to sit and laugh at the things you write. Some of us actually have to work to pay our bills. So, I have too much to do in my life other than care about what you say or do. I have washed my hands of you and yours and simply don't care anymore. I pray for the kids that they are safe and happy and not affected by your need for drama, but that's it. I know that in the end things will be just fine for me and my kids because despite your claims, there are hundreds of people who can and will back up MY kids' character. I have always done what is best for my kids, even if it wasn't easy. I don't lie and pretend to be a perfect mother. I admit my mistakes and I don't blame them on anyone else or make things up to pretend I had reasons for any choice I made or that they weren't my fault. That's called being a grown up. You can keep changing your stories and twist facts to fit what you need them to but here's the thing...........other people remember things too. The funny part is that just like your Mom, you tell a different story and the rest of us all tell the same one. I guess it's a conspiracy against the 2 of you. It couldn't possibly be that the 2 of you lie as often as you breathe.

I have faith in the justice system. I don't need to go and try to turn my family against you or yours. I don't need to try and demean you. I haven't asked anyone to take sides, I haven't asked anyone to support me. I've conducted myself with dignity and after today when i hit "publish" I will continue to do so.

It appears you are upset that me and my kids are doing things with our family now and that has brought out a great deal of bitterness and new lies. To that, I say this.........there is nothing stopping you from organizing your own events and inviting family members. Not one of them will tell you I have asked them to avoid you or stop talking to you. I don't NEED them to because I don't NEED to be validated. With the exception of 3 people, i told NO ONE anything at all, but have found out in the last few days that you and your mother did an awful lot of talking. I'm not surprised but i am a bit embarrassed that neither of you have a shred of dignity OR truthfulness. Regardless, I am comfortable enough in my knowledge of the facts to be okay with them being around you and hearing your sad little stories. Do you honestly think people don't know you??? Do you even get that? You are exactly like your Mother and people see that! I stand on my character and the fact that I tell the truth and have always tried to be a better person than I was raised to be. You're apparently content to be who you were taught to be and that's okay i suppose, but it's not good enough for me or even most of society. I didn't always succeed but I damn sure learned from my mistakes and took responsibility for them. So if someone chose to stop speaking to you or they don't believe you, they chose to do so of their own volition and it's likely a product of the things you have done and said through this drama or a result of the things you did and said in the past as opposed to anything to do with me.

My advice to you is to grow up. It's okay to reach out for help. It's okay to reach out for support. It is not okay to lie to get it. It is not okay to make things up or stretch the truth to turn family against family. Someone sent me some of your stupid posts on other boards telling "your story" and I laughed so hard I cried. Multiple personalities? Really? Want me to talk about the O's you can't have??? My own daughter was horrified by the sounds coming from your room and she said "if that was faking you need to be in hollywood." So, you cant even tell a consistent story about THAT, much less anything else. And yet you can't understand why your own mother called you a "f***ing liar" when you told her what supposedly happened to you? I could tell quite a few stories myself if you'd like. Like the ones about the video tapes made in dugan or your long lost "son". The difference between us is *I'M* telling the truth and I can prove it. So you can keep on telling your stories to try and get sympathy or you can act like a real parent and REALLY get help so that your kids don't have to face growing up exactly like you and it be a bad thing.

I will always in some way care for the little girl I helped take care of and loved dearly, but that little girl died a long time ago in a sea of lies, half truths and a probable mental condition that could have been helped if she'd had a better mother. I don't even blame you for any of this really. I blame your Mother for not getting you help when she knew you needed it because she didn't want the "stigma" placed on our family. It doesn't excuse you by any means but I prefer to believe everything you have done is a result of something you cannot help rather than because you have no conscience. The thing is, you deny it NOW, but you DID start getting help and we saw it was working and you let yourself be convinced it wasn't true because your Mommy didn't want it to be. Don't your kids matter more than your Mommy's own screwed up beliefs?? Don't they deserve a healthy mother? Don't they deserve a chance you didn't have?

To the family and friends who might see this, I'm sorry if any portion of this embarrasses you. I have tried not to sink to this level and I have tried to ignore the lies but it's time to call a spade a spade. It should have been done a long time ago. I'm ONLY doing it publicly because it's the only way this person won't be able to say I said something that I didn't. I'm tired of feeling the need to apologize for them trying to pull you into the drama and it possibly affecting your own lives. I genuinely tried to not let it affect the family and with the exception of the 3 people other than my sisters who I talked to and the blog post that accidentally published to facebook, I feel I did the best I could in that matter.

While I don't think this post will stop any of it, it will put them on notice that I've had enough. I'm willing to call a truce and let the justice system work because I am confident in my knowledge of the issues but I am positive they will continue to do as they have been and I apologize for that. I hope every one of you know that I love you and I appreciate the fact that you love me and my family in return despite the claims being made and for not taking sides. This is exactly how a true family SHOULD function and I am proud to be a part of it.

Nessa

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