Nessas Place

I know that in this complicated world there are many many reasons that people are unhappy. No matter what the reason, be it a bad job, a past trauma, a bad family life, a troubled marriage, etc, it's an interesting fact that there are people who turn to drugs for help. I say interesting because I just don't actually get why they do it. There's a whole campaign out there about telling our kids not to do drugs. Whether a parent does so or not, the school, the TV and the radio are all telling our kids the same things. The message is out there. The dangers of drug use are shown every day on the news, seen in movies, taught about in school. No one can honestly say anymore that they didn't know how bad drugs could be or how they would affect their lives.

While I do feel a certain amount of pity for those who can't seem to get off drugs or anyone who starts using them, the persons I feel the sorriest for are those who ARE completely innocent. The babies, who are born to mothers who did drugs either before or during pregnancy who now suffer for the choices that were made. Choices they had no part in.

I have been reading all this week in preparation for this blog post trying to decide what I wanted to focus on and how I wanted to write it. I finally decided the best route would be the one I can understand the best. Mother's and their children.

First, I don't see how any woman alive could be dumb enough to be a drug user. Sorry, I just don't. It turns a woman into something so ugly, so demoralized, so unnatural that they're almost unrecognizable. They're no longer themselves in any form. They're just an extension of the crack pipe or the needle they're putting into their arm. They are well and truly just a shell of a person living for the next fix and they LOOK like it. Sure, guys do the same. All the same things happen to them too, but they're guys. We women claim to be smarter......yet we get just as addicted. I'm not talking about prescription drugs either. That's a whole other ball game and I blame over prescribing doctors for much of that.

Lets look at methampetamine abuse for example. Do you have any idea what this drug alone can do to you as a woman? Let me tell you:

• Psychosis that does not go away when you stop using the drugs
• Tooth loss that's definitive and unstoppable. It's horrific to look at and even has it's own name. "Meth Mouth"
• Mental and Physical exhaustion
  
• Insomnia
• Paranoia

The list goes on and on and I haven't even included the financial strain that the drugs cause on a person. There's also a much higher risk of STD's in drug users due to the lack of care on their part. When you're high, apparently everything is fun. I'm glad I don't have any personal experience to relate here of my own. One of the best things my Mom taught me was "if you do drugs ONE TIME you will Die and there is nothing I can do to save you". She said that about snakes too and to this day I am terrified of drugs and snakes. Logically I know now that she wasn't telling the whole truth, but it was drilled into my head and the lesson was learned. In the end that's all that matters.

What I think bothered me the most in my research other than the effects on the children is how devastating this drug really is to a woman's body and her self esteem. Even if a woman stops using Meth, it's generally after her teeth have rotted away and she looks like death warmed over. I've heard women who say they had cancer and that's why they're so skinny. I have heard women say they have had some sort of mouth/sinus/cavity disease that made they're teeth rot away. Anything to keep from admitting that they were doing drugs and now they're facing consequences for their actions. I can't say I blame them, in all honesty I probably would too. After all, theoretically, as long as I'm the only one affected it doesn't matter right?

Here's the part that really makes me angry though. The same person who just wants to salvage some part of their dignity by not admitting that they did drugs, will also not tell a doctor everything they need to know to help the baby growing inside them or worse one already born. How could someone do that? There are ways to help babies/children who are affected by drugs. There are specific things that can be done to help minimize birth defects or counteract the ones that do present themselves, at least to an extent. How does a mother watch her child go into a seizure, knowing full well that the baby may have been exposed to a harmful drug and say nothing at all?? How does a Mother watch their child struggle to walk, run, talk, play, learn, be normal and never say a word just to preserve their dignity? I don't understand that. The only way a doctor can test t see if a baby has been subjected to drugs within the past 6 months is to get a sample of the very first stool the baby passes. After that, they can only tell if the baby has been exposed within the last 48 hours and this is all regarding babies who were exposed while the mother was pregnant. There are studies that show there are children affected who's mothers did drugs BEFORE they got pregnant. Unless the doctor is informed by someone who knows this, the doctor can only speculate. There are some tell tale signs, but not all children exhibit these. Without correct information, the doctors hands can be tied and the child may not receive all the benefits of the doctor's knowledge and modern technology.

Babies born to Mothers who use or have used drugs face many obstacles including but not limited to:

• Seizures
• Delayed Motor Skill Development
• Neurological Disorders
• Mental and Physical disabilities
• Low Birth weight
• Higher risk of miscarriage

Again the list goes on and on. How in the world could any Mother knowingly be a party to any one of these things.

Perhaps they feel that since the drug use has ended that there's no way that it could have affected the baby. Maybe they can't admit it to themselves. That it could be their choices that have affected the child. It may not necessarily be a selfish reason as to why they don't admit it but for the sake of their baby, shouldn't they say something?

I remember when I got pregnant with my first child, I confessed to my doctor that I had gone out and gotten extremely drunk with my aunt and uncle and wondered if my baby could be affected. It was before I knew I was pregnant and likely way before I actually got pregnant, but I was secretly convinced almost until he was born that I could have hurt my baby by drinking that one time. When he does stupid things now, I still wonder, but that's another story. The point is, I knew, even at 17, that drinking and drugs could hurt my child and I didn't do it. So if *I* can figure that out........I know others get it too. Yet babies are born everyday addicted to Crack, Methamphetamine, Alcohol, etc. The information is prevalent and free, so WHY??

I can admit that someone addicted may not be as capable as another of making sane logical decisions. I can admit that many drug users are not in their right mind anyway. They're self medicating and therefore not the best at making responsible choices. I understand that there are many many reasons someone might not be able to stop, but if you're pregnant..you have no right to continue. It's more than just you after you become pregnant. It's an unborn baby that deserves a better chance than hospitals, a lifetime of medications and the inability to bond. It's a child who deserves the joy of laughing, playing and running with the other kids. They deserve it because they are innocent.

I encourage anyone who is on drugs or knows anyone who is to help them stop. If you know someone who is doing drugs while they're pregnant and you don't help them, you are as responsible for anything that child faces as the person doing the drugs. If you know a child who has been affected by a parents use of drugs, help them! Give that child every chance to have the same thing other kids do. There are drug rehabilitation facilities that will help you! There are drug counselors that can assist! There are therapy groups who will listen! To find one in your area, visit local.com and get yourself or someone you know on the road to healthy and happy. America's children deserve it.

Nessa

Have you ever told a little white lie? Maybe an easier question is "who hasn't"? It seems like it won't be a big deal and maybe it never is. Maybe no one ever knows you told it and life moves on. In a perfect world, all lies would be little white ones that hurt no one and do no harm to you or anyone else.

Unfortunately, this is far from a perfect world and lies can impact us all greatly. It doesn't matter what it's about. A lie can literally destroy a life or even many lives, including that of the person who told it.

While I can't say I haven't ever lied, I can honestly say there are a few things I will NEVER lie about. I have this theory that if I lie about these certain things, that they will come true. I think it's part of Karma. If you speak something into existence, there's a greater chance it can happen. So I don't do it.

The list includes the following:
The death of a loved family member........any of them, doesn't matter who. I don't want to lose them, therefore I won't speak it into existence.
I won't claim that someone I care about is sick to get out of something...........they could actually get sick and then what am I going to do?
Anything bad about any of my kids

Basically if it's something I think can come back on me or those I love, I won't say it. Which begs the question as to why I don't lie about people I can't stand, to see if something actually happens to them. If I thought it would work, there might be a few less people in the world. Thankfully though I'm sure that A: it wouldn't work and B: I am a good person and would never do that. Even if I wasn't a good person, I believe firmly in Karma. I firmly believe that you can invite bad things to happen by speaking them into existence.

So when I hear about people who claim a loved one died to achieve their own ends, I wonder why they would do that to themselves. There can be no really good reason to do this. Sure you might get a day off work or a free trip to the "funeral", but what have you actually brought into your life that you didn't want there? Additionally........what are you going to do when the lie is found out or the person really does die? Are you going to say someone else died to cover your grief? Are you going to claim it was someone else that died before and the other person(s) just misunderstood? No matter what, unless you become a recluse and no one ever checks into it after you tell the lie, you're going to be found out.

I don't get why anyone would take the chance. I do know that there are people who will lie about anything to get attention. Nothing and no one is safe in their need to get that fix. I'm related to a few people like this and it never ceases to amaze me and sometimes even hurt me. What really gets to me is how people who do this come to believe their lies after they have told them for so long. They can manage to look hurt, cry, become enraged or even despondent and depressed over things that never even happened or were said..........yet they have convinced themselves that it did. All because they lied. The interesting part is that no matter how many times they tell the lie, the story changes and they don't think that others compare the stories. They really don't seem to understand that others have already figured them out and either just humor them by not calling them on the lie or they just ignore it believing that the person is just mentally off and can't help themselves. Others will call the person on it and distance themself afterwards and the liar just won't accept that they did anything wrong. The liar will convince themselves that they are the victim.

As a kid, heck even up to my teens, I lied a lot. Not to hurt anyone.......I was just so ashamed of some parts of my life that I wanted it to be better so I made it that way. In my stories, I had a perfectly normal family and i had great clothes and lots of boyfriends and no one bullied me or made me feel bad about myself. I lied about most anything and everything in the hopes that someone would see me the way I wanted to be seen. Of course, it didn't quite work that way. Mostly people realized that I was lying and didn't want to be my friend anymore lol. I don't blame them now, but back then I did, because I WANTED to be truthful. I wanted to let them in to see what I saw and felt, but what if they didn't get it? My life was certainly better than some kids......but like any other child, all I cared about was MY life and what i was going through. So, rather than just tell the truth and hope that my friends would stand by me and help me through it, I let those people go and wrote them off as horrible people who accused me of things I didn't do. I can look back and laugh at it all now because I have since grown up and I don't do these things anymore but back then it was pretty bad.

That's what brings me to this post today. I know of someone who is claiming someone else died and it certainly appears that they didn't at all. It makes me wonder why they would tell the lie at all and how do they live with their conscience? It seems to me that life is hard enough as it is. I don't know why anyone would intentionally make it harder but then, I suppose it doesn't matter. In the long run, all I can do is be honest and live my life in such a way that I have nothing to fear and stand by my beliefs. That way what I speak into existence are good things. Things I can be proud of. Things that make me smile. Things that fill my heart. Things that fill the heart of others.

Sure I can still be influenced by outside forces. I know that. However the better *I* live my life, the less chance the negative has of sticking to me and when I do go meet my maker, I go with a clear conscience knowing there are people who love and believe in me. In the end, isn't that what really matters?

Karma.........you can be a fierce foe...........but I am not afraid of you, I shall see you as a friend.

Nessa

For all they do. The drama they cause, the people they hurt, the lies they tell, the things they just keep lying about.......I dedicate this song to some very "special" people. May you seek help soon and if not, well, I'm praying for you REALLY hard lol.



Just in case you miss the words..........here ya go. I wouldn't want you to miss anything.

I haven't been to church since I don't remember when
Things were going great '˜til they fell apart again
So I listened to the preacher as he told me what to do
He said you cant go hating others who have done wrong to you.
Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn.
Let the good Lord do His job and you just pray for them.

I pray your brakes go out running down a hill
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I'd like to
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flying high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are honey, I pray for you

I'm really glad I found my way to church
'Cause I'm already feeling better and I thank God for the words.
Yeah I'm going take the high road,
And do what the preacher told me to do,
You keep messing up and I'll keep praying for you.

I pray your tire blows out at 110.
I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend and wake up with his and her tattoos.

I pray your brakes go out running down a hill.
I pray a flowerpot falls from a window sill and knocks you in the head like I'd like to.
I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls
I pray you're flying high when your engine stalls
I pray all your dreams never come true
Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car,
wherever you are honey, I pray for you.
I pray for you

As part of my "getting back into the swing of things" I've decided to go back to a few of the things I really enjoyed doing before the stalker tried to ruin them for me.

Thursday Thunks has always been one of my favorite's so it's only natural that I bring it back over here and have a little fun. Lord knows I can use some humor and maybe some of you can too.

So Today's "Thunks" are:

1. Berleen is sending you away again. You can travel anywhere in the world; one destination per day from Friday through Monday. Where do you go and why?

2. Would you keep a secret from the closest person to you if you thought it was in their best interest?


3. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you that you have not revealed in some other crazy meme.


4. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' BS) - what are they?


5. If you could change anything about your living situation, would you?


6. Who is your favorite character from a comic strip? Please post one strip for us to laugh at.

7. Now we have found you dead. What five people do you want to MEET in Heaven?


8. So since you are dead, what will the title of your life story be?


9. Word association time! What's the first thing that comes to mind when you see the word pleasure?


10. Kimber is by the Arizona ocean. She finds a message in a bottle. What does it say?


11. Would you like to guest host Thunks one week? Answer “yes” here and email us here! If the answer is “no” who do you think would be a great guest host?

Nope...........she's still psychotic. Poor kids, I hope they don't inherit it from her and her Mother.

With everything that's going on, I've been looking for outlets to occupy my brain when I'm not working. Sadly, it's not too often that I'm not working. When I'm not though, I need something to occupy my mind. Especially late at night when I can't really do yard work or clean house. Lately my penchant is to download games online. It's amazing how tired playing the hidden object games can make you when you are sure you won't be able to fall asleep. The items are so well hidden amongst others that they're hard to spot and the harder you look, the more tired your eyes get.

Plus there's the old saying " If you don't want to lose it, USE it. Studies have shown that puzzles and games that make you think, are a very good way to exercise your brain and keep it in good working order. It's also a good way to help train your brain to focus on one thing at a time when it's wanting to go 1000 different directions. I don't know about anyone else, but I have an aversion to things like Alzheimer's and it's never too early to worry about it. I figure I exercise my brain enough I will never have to worry at all. Now if i'd just learn to use it properly all the time........I wonder if there's a game for that???

Nessa

I have been needing to get this blog back up and running at top speed. There is so much going on that there just hasn't been time lately. I can't even blame not posting on the stalker anymore, because I think she might have finally grown up. Well, either that or her and her Mom are desperately looking for the "other" blog where I talk about them lol. They'll never find it. Good luck though.

Anyway, I've been trying to think of things to post and just haven't had any prompts really other than things that will inevitably hack someone off. Not that I care if they're mad mind you. I just don't want to surround myself with negativity. It's toxic and it doesn't dissipate if you constantly allow it to keep festering. I have very good examples of hate destroying people. Let me tell you..........it's ugly.

So, while searching for inspiration, I found "Sleeping With Bread". Here's what it's about:

"This "Sleeping with Bread" Monday Meme, started by Mary-Lue and based off the book by the same name is a place to, just as “the orphans held on to what nourished them and were thus able to sleep peacefully at night, the examen, based on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius, helps a person hold onto what spiritually nourishes him by looking at what is giving him consolation in his life or causing him desolation. It allows someone to express his gratitude to God for the good stuff and turn to him for solace for the bad stuff."

Here are my answers for my very first installment with the hopes of many more to come.

What are you most and least grateful for in this last week?

Least:

The tears I cried due to all the revelations of the last week.
Learning I am hated for simply protecting those I love
Realizing that there are things that will never change
Understanding that no matter how hard I try, I'm the wrong person trying to achieve what it is I want most
Judgemental people who THINK they know what's going on with others but don't take the time to ask

Most:

My kids, who I am so proud of.
My 2 sisters who are going through all this with me. (I'm sorry I can't make it better for all of us)
A kind, considerate man who loves me and just holds me when I cry knowing he can't make it better any more than *I* can, but wants to.
Family who sees things for what they are and love me
My 3rd sister who loves me and has no idea what is going on lol ( be GLAD Shannah, be glad!)
My nieces and nephews, whom I dearly love
Truths
My Cousin getting her to see her hubby and her peace of mind knowing he'll be home from Afghanistan soon. The hardest part is over.
The newest addition to our awesome family and my Uncle getting a namesake AND a new grandbaby all in one.
My awesome job!


How did you experience God placing animal and oyster crackers in your soup bowl of life?

As you know, things have been really tough lately with a family situation. I cant give details because to do so would just start more drama and no one needs that. Lets just say God gave me BACK some crackers that I needed and I love them very much. My soup bowl is looking quite nice lately and it's only going to get better.

Nessa