October 18, 2011

Ex-Lax......The Quicker Dog Putter Upper?

So most of my family knows the continuing saga that I face with my idiot neighbors. Last week I vented a bit about how sick I am of the problems and their continued refusal to attend to their dogs. About 15 minutes after that posted, I ended up in the hospital for most of the day.

See, I hit "post", did a few other things and then from MY OWN BACKYARD, I hear dogs fighting. I jumped up and looked out to see Harley being attacked by all of the neighbors dogs at once. He handled himself very well and only got one small cut but the fact remains that if he weren't as strong and big as he is, they could have killed him. Harley was outside, in his own yard, on his dog run getting some morning exercise. AKA, barking at anything that moves or looks as if it might. He takes his job seriously folks!

Anyway, when i saw what was happening I ran outside to take care of it, by which time the neighbors dogs were already running away going back to their house. So I checked my guy and he was fine but he was extremely agitated and truly pissed off. So was his Momma! My heart rate went too high, I couldn't calm down and then when the pains in my chest and arms started I realized I'd better go to the emergency room. 

Before that though, the neighbors NEVER came to get their dogs. They never came out to apologize for what happened. They hid in the house. This all happened on Friday.

Soooooooo, I am now on 2 heart medications. I'm also on anti-anxiety and ulcer medications. Now, not ALL of this is just because of the neighbors. I have other stress to deal with as well, but I know that God has it under control and I'm letting him deal with it. I keep trying to give the whole neighbor issue to him as well, but I'm telling you I think even he said "yeah, sorry, *I* don't even have a cure for those people". So I just keep asking him to smite them mightily but he hasn't done it yet.

Fast forward to Sunday. On my way home from Phillip's, my daughter calls to tell me that she came outside to shoo the neighbors dogs out of our yard because Harley was barking so much. She just told them to go home. The neighbor idiot, started yelling about it and told Ashley "shut up you fat ass bitch". Ashley calmly told her to get her dogs and there wouldn't be an issue. The neighbor called her a bitch again and mumbled something about their dogs being able to go anywhere they want.  Ashley told her "my Mom will be home in a few minutes and you can talk to her about it" and then she came inside.

When I got home, the neighbor was gone of course. She always manages to start crap and then hide from me. She doesn't like it when she thinks her mouth might get her bitch slapped lol. Anyway, I backed the truck up to the front door. My son Zach was given a gorgeous Snow King snake and her aquarium is HUGE! Harley had already been brought in for the night and somehow someone let him out of the house and he went out into the yard. As soon as he did, the neighbors dogs started barking at him, which is fine since for once they were on their own property. Harley ran over to the edge of the driveway and the dogs jumped on him. Harley's tail was wagging before that point. He simply wanted to play. After that, not so much. Harley had one of the dogs by the throat and we were right there grabbing him and ending the issue. We tried to grab him before he could get over there but missed him. In this instance, it is clearly our fault that Harley got away from us and ended up in a fight. The whole thing lasted less than a minute. I apologized for what happened and made sure the other dog was okay. I also spent at least 15 minutes talking to the neighbors oldest son who also agreed that his parents dogs need to be contained and that at least one is a danger and should not be allowed to be loose.

During this time the neighbors weren't home yet, they were probably hoping I was in for the night and not in the mood to knock the crap out of her for what she said to my daughter. They flew into the driveway about 15 minutes after the fight though and started screaming "that dog came in our yard and attacked our dog!!!"  "next time I'll shoot him". Uhhhhhh..........am I the only one who sees the irony here? Our dog has been in their yard approximately 4 times in a 7 month period and we were always there to get him and this last time was the only time an actual fight ensued due to OUR dog being in the wrong place. Their dogs are in our yard EVERY SINGLE DAY!!

We literally have to worry every time we walk out the door that we will be bitten. The main one that tries to bite has even been so bold as to come sit right in front of our porch to wait for us to walk out! But they're going to shoot MY DOG??? 

Soooooooo, I called the Sheriff's dept, AGAIN.....they said the same thing. There is no animal control, a deputy can come take a statement, but ultimately you have the right to shoot a nuisance animal even if you know who owns it. So that's my solution? The idiot dog has to die because it's owners are even more idiotic? That really doesn't seem fair.

Well, that's when the really evil side of me kicked in. I sat down and I weighed my options. I can continue to let this go on til I have a heart attack and die or I can do something about it. I am already looking for a place to move but in the meantime I am not going to live in fear anymore. I can not make myself shoot a dog, or any other animal for that matter. The dog should not die for it's owners mistakes. So I thought, what can i do to cause a problem that would make the neighbors WANT to keep their dogs much closer to home? I can't poison them because that is wrong as well. But ex lax might be a fun way to cause a mess, no pun intended and not hurt the dog. I imagined lacing hot dogs with the laxative and giving them to the dogs then after a few hours coming back outside and daring them to charge me lol. This is all conjecture of course because as I said...........I can't hurt an animal. not even with ex-lax. At times like these, It kind of sucks in a way to love animals so much. The only reason I even thought of this was because the neighbors claim their dogs are never in our yard, or the street or the other neighbors yards. So I thought if I gave them a bad case of the poo's, then maybe the neighbors would think the dogs were sick, take em to the vet and learn that the dogs had gotten into something somewhere and put them up so it couldn't happen again. Suspicion would of course fall on me, but all I would say is "now how could that happen since your dogs "NEVER" come over here in my yard??" and bat my eyes all innocent like. What could they say without eventually admitting that their dogs are ALWAYS unattended and where they shouldn't be?

I thought about a hit man as well. I actually have loads of people willing to come shoot the darn dogs themselves so I don't have to, but frankly as I said before, I'd rather shoot the neighbors, not the dogs. Unfortunately, that comes with all sorts of prison time and other legal issues. Too much drama there.

Sooooooooo, here I sit. Dreaming of ways to get back at dogs and their owners for making my life a living hell. Hopefully, I'll find a place to move to soon. Please, Please, Please let it be soon. I'm not sure how long I can hold on to my ex lax theory without implementing it lol. JK, JK!! Now that I laid my plan out for the world to see, I obviously can't implement it anyway. That's okay though.....there are other ways.......oh yes........there are other ways. Bwahahahaha I mean uhhhhhhhh, I love dogs...........really I do. :)


No comments: