Nessas Place

My fears involve snakes and water. My mother is the person who drilled these fears into my head and that of my sisters. Of snakes we were told that if we were bitten by a snake we were going to die. Period. There would be nothing she could do to save us. Of water, we were told that a person could drown in a teaspoon of water. Period. No chance of being saved. 

So as a child, if I saw a snake........I panicked. As an adult. I panicked. I made sure any snake I saw in the road or in the yard died. That way it not only couldn't kill me, it couldn't harm my children either. As for water, I never learned to swim. You tell me I can drown in a teaspoon and then you expect me to get in a whole lake where there are parts over my head? No thanks! Try to teach me to swim, I'd rather try to drown you til you give up. And I did. I panicked so much every time someone tried that it was finally decided that I didn't need to learn.

Now to be fair, I don't think these lessons we were taught were meant to be cruel. I think it was her misguided attempt at telling us of the danger to keep us safe, but in me it instilled fear that could have been far more dangerous to me than a snake and deep water combined.

Last summer, Phillip and I spent a great deal of time on the lake on the Jet ski's.  Normally just the idea that I could fall off and be in water over my head, even with a life jacket on would terrify me. It would literally be enough to keep me on the shore or going very slowly to insure I didn't fall off. If you've ever been on a jet ski though, you know that the faster you go, the more fun it is and let's face it......I LOVE the Jet ski! The faster it goes, the better. So........I wear my life jacket.......very tight..........and I tell myself that I'm going to be fine and I have fun. Fear mostly conquered.

Snakes on the other hand........well that's not something I would ever think I could deal with. I didn't really see a reason to get over the fear anyway. Then of course God showed me that I didn't know anything as usual. My youngest son, Zachery, loves snakes. he's begged for one for years and I always said "hell no". With a lot of emphasis on both words!

Phillip loves snakes too and has tried to convince me many times that my fear of them as a whole is irrational and potentially dangerous. For instance, if I see a grass snake and run away from it and trip over a branch and break my face, that could be dangerous to my health. The problem with his theory is that it is completely and totally true. I have literally seen a snake and become so hysterical that I almost passed out and once I even almost knocked the boys down in an effort to get away. 

Sooooooo, last week a wonderful lady offered a free snake with an aquarium on freecycle. It's a female Snow King Snake. I had been considering trying to deal with my fear enough to allow Zach to have a snake for Christmas if it was kept in the garage or something like that where I didn't have to have contact with it or see it. So I emailed the lady about the snake and Phillip and I went to pick her up. I wanted nothing to do with her but I did admire her coloring and the way she seemed so calm when Phillip held her.

When we got her back to Phillip's house, he took her out of the container we had transported her in and I was amazed to see that despite how scared she must have been and in a new place, she was still very calm. She seemed to be looking at him as if to say "what are you going to do to me? Am I safe?". He put his hand very calmly and gently into the container and she went right to his hand. We then took her outside and though she wanted to explore she made sure to stay close to Phillip almost as if she was looking for protection. I of course can't say for sure what was going through her mind but it was clear that escape wasn't her priority and neither was attacking.

From that point on, my opinion of the species has changed, well, at least of her anyway. I can't say if I saw another snake like her in the yard that I wouldn't flip out and run, but with her I am not afraid at all. I can hold her, let her near me and I have absolutely no fear of her. I never ever thought the day would come when I could open my eyes to the possibility of a snake as a pet, but "Cleo" as we've named her, has changed my opinion. So much so, that I'm considering getting another King Snake that used to live with Cleo. He's not as calm as she is but he hasn't been handled as much either. With time i think he could be just as sweet and calm as she is and I find myself wanting him to have that chance. His name is Charlie, but I secretly call him "Spot".

 He seems to be her comfort zone now that we have her in the house. If she's out of her cage, she prefers to be with Zach but she isn't aggressive to the rest of us at all. if we are holding her you can tell that if she senses Zach nearby, she will try to make her way to him. Probably because he's warmer than the rest of us and he's the most comfortable handling her. So not only am I learning to set aside the fear for myself, I can also see that my fear of my children being harmed by a helpless animal is also irrational. Granted, there are snakes that CAN and WILL harm you. Education is the key to being safe though, not being afraid of an entire species just because SOME are dangerous.

It wasn't easy to say goodbye to the fear. I held onto it for over 40 years but I shed it in less than a week and I am glad of it. Unnecessary fear isn't something to hold onto. It's something to try and face and deal with if at all possible. What are you afraid of? What are you tired of being afraid of?

Nessa

See, I hit "post", did a few other things and then from MY OWN BACKYARD, I hear dogs fighting. I jumped up and looked out to see Harley being attacked by all of the neighbors dogs at once. He handled himself very well and only got one small cut but the fact remains that if he weren't as strong and big as he is, they could have killed him. Harley was outside, in his own yard, on his dog run getting some morning exercise. AKA, barking at anything that moves or looks as if it might. He takes his job seriously folks!

Anyway, when i saw what was happening I ran outside to take care of it, by which time the neighbors dogs were already running away going back to their house. So I checked my guy and he was fine but he was extremely agitated and truly pissed off. So was his Momma! My heart rate went too high, I couldn't calm down and then when the pains in my chest and arms started I realized I'd better go to the emergency room. 

Before that though, the neighbors NEVER came to get their dogs. They never came out to apologize for what happened. They hid in the house. This all happened on Friday.

Soooooooo, I am now on 2 heart medications. I'm also on anti-anxiety and ulcer medications. Now, not ALL of this is just because of the neighbors. I have other stress to deal with as well, but I know that God has it under control and I'm letting him deal with it. I keep trying to give the whole neighbor issue to him as well, but I'm telling you I think even he said "yeah, sorry, *I* don't even have a cure for those people". So I just keep asking him to smite them mightily but he hasn't done it yet.

Fast forward to Sunday. On my way home from Phillip's, my daughter calls to tell me that she came outside to shoo the neighbors dogs out of our yard because Harley was barking so much. She just told them to go home. The neighbor idiot, started yelling about it and told Ashley "shut up you fat ass bitch". Ashley calmly told her to get her dogs and there wouldn't be an issue. The neighbor called her a bitch again and mumbled something about their dogs being able to go anywhere they want.  Ashley told her "my Mom will be home in a few minutes and you can talk to her about it" and then she came inside.

When I got home, the neighbor was gone of course. She always manages to start crap and then hide from me. She doesn't like it when she thinks her mouth might get her bitch slapped lol. Anyway, I backed the truck up to the front door. My son Zach was given a gorgeous Snow King snake and her aquarium is HUGE! Harley had already been brought in for the night and somehow someone let him out of the house and he went out into the yard. As soon as he did, the neighbors dogs started barking at him, which is fine since for once they were on their own property. Harley ran over to the edge of the driveway and the dogs jumped on him. Harley's tail was wagging before that point. He simply wanted to play. After that, not so much. Harley had one of the dogs by the throat and we were right there grabbing him and ending the issue. We tried to grab him before he could get over there but missed him. In this instance, it is clearly our fault that Harley got away from us and ended up in a fight. The whole thing lasted less than a minute. I apologized for what happened and made sure the other dog was okay. I also spent at least 15 minutes talking to the neighbors oldest son who also agreed that his parents dogs need to be contained and that at least one is a danger and should not be allowed to be loose.

During this time the neighbors weren't home yet, they were probably hoping I was in for the night and not in the mood to knock the crap out of her for what she said to my daughter. They flew into the driveway about 15 minutes after the fight though and started screaming "that dog came in our yard and attacked our dog!!!"  "next time I'll shoot him". Uhhhhhh..........am I the only one who sees the irony here? Our dog has been in their yard approximately 4 times in a 7 month period and we were always there to get him and this last time was the only time an actual fight ensued due to OUR dog being in the wrong place. Their dogs are in our yard EVERY SINGLE DAY!!

We literally have to worry every time we walk out the door that we will be bitten. The main one that tries to bite has even been so bold as to come sit right in front of our porch to wait for us to walk out! But they're going to shoot MY DOG??? 

Soooooooo, I called the Sheriff's dept, AGAIN.....they said the same thing. There is no animal control, a deputy can come take a statement, but ultimately you have the right to shoot a nuisance animal even if you know who owns it. So that's my solution? The idiot dog has to die because it's owners are even more idiotic? That really doesn't seem fair.

Well, that's when the really evil side of me kicked in. I sat down and I weighed my options. I can continue to let this go on til I have a heart attack and die or I can do something about it. I am already looking for a place to move but in the meantime I am not going to live in fear anymore. I can not make myself shoot a dog, or any other animal for that matter. The dog should not die for it's owners mistakes. So I thought, what can i do to cause a problem that would make the neighbors WANT to keep their dogs much closer to home? I can't poison them because that is wrong as well. But ex lax might be a fun way to cause a mess, no pun intended and not hurt the dog. I imagined lacing hot dogs with the laxative and giving them to the dogs then after a few hours coming back outside and daring them to charge me lol. This is all conjecture of course because as I said...........I can't hurt an animal. not even with ex-lax. At times like these, It kind of sucks in a way to love animals so much. The only reason I even thought of this was because the neighbors claim their dogs are never in our yard, or the street or the other neighbors yards. So I thought if I gave them a bad case of the poo's, then maybe the neighbors would think the dogs were sick, take em to the vet and learn that the dogs had gotten into something somewhere and put them up so it couldn't happen again. Suspicion would of course fall on me, but all I would say is "now how could that happen since your dogs "NEVER" come over here in my yard??" and bat my eyes all innocent like. What could they say without eventually admitting that their dogs are ALWAYS unattended and where they shouldn't be?

I thought about a hit man as well. I actually have loads of people willing to come shoot the darn dogs themselves so I don't have to, but frankly as I said before, I'd rather shoot the neighbors, not the dogs. Unfortunately, that comes with all sorts of prison time and other legal issues. Too much drama there.

Sooooooooo, here I sit. Dreaming of ways to get back at dogs and their owners for making my life a living hell. Hopefully, I'll find a place to move to soon. Please, Please, Please let it be soon. I'm not sure how long I can hold on to my ex lax theory without implementing it lol. JK, JK!! Now that I laid my plan out for the world to see, I obviously can't implement it anyway. That's okay though.....there are other ways.......oh yes........there are other ways. Bwahahahaha I mean uhhhhhhhh, I love dogs...........really I do. :)

Nessa

Part of my new found life free of most of the drama and the people who thrive on it, is the fact that I'm actually happy and therefore not around as much. Great for my happiness, not so great for my blog. It's one of those things that just simply can't be avoided but it still bothers me a little nonetheless.

I have considered doing a weekly post with helpful tips and such to take a little pressure off myself but lets face it, with the colder weather coming up I will probably not be able to be outside as much, so blogging might be easier. I hate the cold. I'm not exactly fond of the heat either mind you. So I might be around more soon. 

Things are going well around here. We even had a miracle occur which I will get to in a sec. Jonathon is working more.......he likes that he's making more money but he's practically living from a suitcase. Daniel got yet another promotion and is about to get another raise. Zach is doing awesome in school and has straight A's as usual. He'll be taking his Pre-PSAT in a few weeks and is studying and practicing for it. I'm sure he'll do fine so no worries there.  

As for the miracle........well those of you who know my family........try not to pass out. In fact, sit down before reading further.  You probably shouldn't drink or eat anything just yet either unless someone is around to save you in case you start choking. Ready? Okay, don't say I didn't warn you. Ashley desperately needs dental help.  No, that's not the miracle. Keep reading. I have been trying to come up with the money or resources to help her better but they just aren't there right now. I just kept praying something would  happen that would allow me to help her. Here's the Miracle. Her Father...........yes, Bill Johnson, added her to his health care plan at work so that she could get things taken care of. It took him almost 21 years folks but he did it! Ok, who all passed out? I almost did when I heard he was even thinking about it. When he called and asked for her social and her birth date in order to implement his idea, I nearly choked to death.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting him down really. I give him credit when he does something good, I just can't believe he actually did something for her. This is the same guy who went to great lengths to take his girlfriends kids to swim with the dolphins and made a nasty comment asking if Ashley was "jealous" because she wasn't invited. Sure she's 20 but her feelings were definitely hurt when she was informed by the kids that they were going and Ashley's dad was paying for it. Not that the kids had any idea mind you. They're the cutest little things and I'm positive they had no idea Ashley's feelings would be hurt. They're just kids and they were excited. 

On the upside, Karma delivered him a beautiful bitch slap upside the head for his nasty comment lol. The weekend they were supposed to go, a hurricane came through Florida. I did feel bad for the poor kiddo's, but I'm sure they probably got to go when the weather was better. So I won't apologize for the little smile I wore all weekend on my daughter's behalf.

So anyway, Ashley will now be able to get her dental work done and I can cross that off my worry list. Yay me! Yay Ashley! Thank you Jesus. Thank you Bill for giving a crap......finally.

In other news, mine and Phillip's business venture is going wonderfully. We made a great profit at the auction this weekend and are that much closer to getting into the real estate ventures we have planned.  Once that's done I will finally be able to kill the neighbors  , err.....move somewhere away from these crazy people next door.

When I say crazy i mean really, really crazy. The woman needs serious help. I think her husband might be fairly normal but he's learned to shut up and agree with her so that he doesn't wake up one night with her holding a butcher knife over his heart. I have actually prayed for her. I prayed that she would grow a few brain cells and be normal. I prayed she'd get an enema and maybe she could expel all the crap she comes up with from her butt and not her mouth. Or the stick that's wedged up there at the very least.  I prayed that her phones would all suddenly die and she could quit sitting on the porch ALL DAY LONG talking loudly about her retarded dogs that bite neighborhood kids and her own family that she still can't be bothered to put up.  I prayed someone else would finally just tell her what she really thinks of her so that maybe it would solve both our problems. She wouldn't be forced to listen to lies on a daily basis and I wouldn't have to put up with all their retarded dogs in my yard all the time tearing things up and trying to bite my family and our visitors.  I also prayed that at some point Jesus would bitch slap her for constantly using his name while she lies through her teeth. I prayed and prayed and prayed! The biggest problem is that she's just like some other people I know who sit around trying to think of something dramatic she can make up about other people or take a tiny bit of truth and turn it into something else. 

We apparently have this magical ability to steal their paychecks, but only near the time the rent is due. Never mind the fact that we have never gotten any mail for them except once and it was delivered to them before we ever came into our house, we are definitely stealing their mail. Just ask them, they'll be happy to tell ya all about it.

We are probably also to blame for them firing their Hispanic"ranch hand" for the time being. I put it in quotations because who the hell needs a ranch hand  for 2 cows and 3 or 4 horses? Probably someone who sits on the phone all day talking about dogs and making up crap come to think of it.  I really hope the guy finds better employment and gets away from these people finally. According to him and some of the family members, they literally treated him like a child but most of the time refused to feed him or pay him as agreed. There's a lot to the story and many reasons why he put up with it. I'm hoping he is able to move on though. He is a nice enough guy from what I can tell and really, slavery ended a very long time ago.

The worst part of all this is that except for Daniel being verbally grossed out by the the men in the family not wearing shirts outside when we first moved out here........we haven't done anything to these people. All we want is for their dogs and cats to stay in their own yard and not have to defend ourselves from 2 dogs that clearly have no business being loose. I have said "I will shoot those dogs if they bite someone on our property" and I assure you I will do exactly that. The Sheriff's dept has made it clear that if the dogs are in my yard I have the right to do so because they are considered nuisance animals. I don't want to shoot them for being in my yard and I won't, but if they bite someone over here that's it.  I pay my rent, sometimes it's late, but I pay it and I do not do so in order for the neighbors to have free reign over here. That is the problem though. They want all the property to themselves and don't care that other people have rights as well.

I understand they don't want to pen their dogs up. I HATE having to chain mine up to be able to go outside for fresh air, but *I* am a responsible owner. *I* know that my dogs do not belong in someone else's yard. My dogs do not belong outside unattended with no fence. My dogs do not belong across the street or in the street stopping traffic almost daily. My dogs do not need to be bred constantly to put more unwanted dogs in the world. I LOVE my dogs and it would be wrong to allow them to be a nuisance like these dogs are. The problem is that everyone else on this road see's it except for them. I've even asked fellow neighbors to PLEASE not shoot these dogs and that if they finally do, to come and tell the people they did it so that me and my family won't be blamed for something  we didn't do. It's just maddening!

I'm not saying we are perfect, but none of them are in danger of being attacked by my dogs. Harley has gotten loose a couple times accidentally and acted stupid towards their dogs, but we were right there to get him and he got his butt busted. He did NOT act aggressive towards a person though, just towards dogs he's seen trying to attack his family. Even at that, we went to bigger lengths to keep it from happening. These people seem to think its their dog's right to come over here and bark and growl at us while we sit on our own front porch. Or to charge us while we go to get something from our car. There's a HUGE difference in Harley acting dumb because we relaxed our guard and their dogs doing it on a consistent basis with no attempt by them to stop the behavior. I guess when they do eventually bite someone over here and I either shoot the dog or get everyone who knows the dog has bitten the requisite three times to have the dog declared vicious and put down by the authorities they might finally understand that if they love the dog, they should protect it from it's stupidity as well as their own. Maybe.........but they'll probably just blame us lol.

Soooooooo,you're all caught up now and I feel better for having vented. 

Oh wait, no you aren't. You have to see Minnie! She's going to be a Bumblebee for Halloween. 

Have you EVER seen a cuter bumblebee in your life?? No you haven't. I'm sure of it!

NOW, you're caught up :)

Nessa